taking a chance on love

well, i think i would be the last person to talk anything about love for a number of reasons. 1. i broke up with my bf. 2. since the break up, i don't have a bf still. and 3. i honestly think i won't find someone else again. but no matter. i just wanna tell you the quote i heard from a movie i watched tonight at Hallmark channel. the movie is called "Taking a Chance on Love".

to tell you the truth, i don't like the movie much. but since there is absolutely nothing to watch, i decided to watch it. and i don't think i wanna tell you what the movie is all about anyway because i wasn't really paying attention to the movie much. my mind at the time was wondering around, thinking about stuff that i shouldn't have in the first place. which makes me cry a little bit. but anyways, towards the end of the movie, the narrator said something that from my point of view is very touching and sweet and meaningful which i wanna share with every each of you. she said:

"Love is alive and constantly evolving. Don't attempt to understand it. Or reason with it. Or defer it. Or deny entry to your heart with excuses molded from doubt and insecurity in your heart. Rather, when it comes your way, grasp love. Hold onto it for all you're worth. Never let fear keep you from reaching for life's bouquets. And finally, never ever fail to take a chance on love."

personally, i do believe in those words. and to tell you the truth, that's how i was back then. i always hold on to my love for him. there was no doubt at all. he was the only person at that moment and thats how it was going to be. but.....it didn't turn out to be like that isn't it? if you are the only person who believe in this kind of love, who just accept love as it is, who does not question or reason with it, it won't work if your own partner doesn't understand it at all. it is hard to make someone understand about love if he or she hardly ever been in love at all. or doesn't give it a chance. i know that love is childish. love is unreasonable. love is crazy. love is scary and above all, love hurts. yes, it does and it will always be there. but most of the time, love is beautiful. love is strong. love is trust. love is faith but mostly, love is powerful. there is nothing in this world that can beat love.

i know i am still naive. and i will always will be when it comes to love. but lately, i always have the feeling that i won't find my one true love anywhere. giving up? i don't know. everytime i am alone like right now, when i close my eyes and just listening to my own heartbeat, all i can feel is numbness. empty. hollow. nothing. and without noticing, i cried again. just when i thought i won't cry anymore, here i am crying again. i am not saying  that i am giving up on finding my one and only, but its more like scared to be in love again. and the possibility of getting hurt is too much to bear. i don't know. maybe i am saying all these because i am still mourning about my break up. maybe after a few months, i will be okay. maybe i will, maybe i won't.

i guess we all just have to wait and see isn't it.