funny facts about men...

one good thing about my feet still hurting, it gives me more time to read more. and i do mean a lot of reading. i've been ransacking my room to find any books i can find and i was amazed that i actually do have a lot of books. i have Harry Potter series which i have all 7 books, Lord of the Rings which i have no idea what the hell its all about because all of them were written like in Shakespeare but i still read it anyway because i have nothing else better to do or, Charmed books, you know the one with the witches Prue, Piper, Phoebe and Paige, Zodiac about the serial killer which still haven't been caught after like decades, and other books like criminal investigations and police kinda stuff. and apparently i have read all those books! oh mi gosh! so i moved to reading in internet. i love reading funny stuff about men, women and relationships.

so i thought this time it would be fun to share what i found in internet about funny facts about men. so let's laugh out loud with me everybody!

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook when danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelery.
3. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. if not, the early films end with a scream and a flush.
4. Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".
5. Marrying a divorced men is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle. (Bwahahahaha.......)
6. Men are very confident people especially when they watch sports on television. They think that if they concentrates they can help their team. If the team is in trouble, they coaches the players from their living room and if the team is really in trouble, their wifes or girlfriends have to get off the phone in case the players want to call them for advises. 
7. If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
8. Men like phones with a lot of buttons. It makes them feel important.
9. Men love to be the first to read the newspapers in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
10. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals. (Bwahahahaha...... seriously if my boyfriend wear something like that, i will ask him to change or im not walking next to him.)
11. The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care for anyone else.
12. Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they HAVE to know.
13. Men who are going bald often wears baseball caps. (that is so true.....)
14. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. 
15. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaners. These men usually have jobs and bathe. ( im gonna start going to dry cleaners from now on.)
16. Men love watches with multiple functions. A husband of friend of mine has one with that is a combination address books, telescope and piano.
17. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in their heart even to those soft hearted ones.
18. Men are sensitive in a strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log doesn't burn, he will take it personally. (Bwhahahaha......)
19. Men are men enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax. (Wuss!!!)
20. All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
21. Men don't get cellulite. Period.
22. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, i recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
24. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a men walk into a party and say, "Oh my God, i'm so embarrassed. Get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
25. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
26. If a man prepares dinner for you and and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
27. If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr Right", if he a) got older b) got a new job and c) visited psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
28. Men own basketball teams. The cheerleader outfits get tighter and briefer and players shorts are get baggier and longer.
29. No man is charming all the time. Yes, i learn the hard way.
30. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
31. When four or more women get together, they talk about men. (very true)
32. Not one men in beer commercial has a beer belly. ( in real life, it is soooooo much different)
33. Men are less sentimental than women. No men has ever seen "TITANIC" twice, voluntarily. (Bwahahahaha......)
34. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love?", "Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?". Most men are outrospective;"Did my team win?", "How's my car?" (if your car is so important, then marry your car!)
35. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget.....he didn't lose your number.... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you. (that is sooooo rude! but its soooooo true. men!)
36. Men hate to lose. A friend of mine told me that once she beat him on tennis. She asked him,"Are we going to have sex tonight?" He said,"Yes, but not with each other."
37. Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.
38. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem."Get out" or "I never want to see you again!" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying,"I love you....I want to marry you.....I want to have your children...."Sometimes it leaves skid marks.
39. Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example."Mitch you look great." Mitch: "Thanks".On the other side:"Ruth, you look great." Ruth:"I do? Must be the lightning."
40. Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
41. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
42. Only men who have wear a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
43. Men don't feel the urge to get married quickly as women do. 
44. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
45. When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume that she has gained weight. When a man tries a clothing from his closet that feels tight, he will assume that the clothing has shrunk. ( i want to have that mentality too!!!!!)
46. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause, you get to date younger girls and drive motorcycles. ( that is so not fair!)
47. Men forget everything, women remember everything. (ain't that the truth! well someone has to remember it, right?)
48. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
49. Men will like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
50. All men would still really like to own a train set.

wow, i can't believe i finished it. there you go people! 50 funny facts about men.