thinking of you.

here i am sitting all alone, just enjoying watching "Day After Tomorrow" starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid (he's hot! and yes i like older man. =P) and i noticed that i was more focusing on my other half than watching this movie. i guess i'm just used to having him around me all the time, i keep watching the yahoo messenger to see if he pops up anytime soon. ~sighs~

you know, like any other couple, we also have our ups and downs. we argue, we yell, you name it, we did it. but in the end, we always kiss and made up with each other. when we both fight, we always think that its easier to end all this things rather than through all this things all over again. and hope later on we find someone else which of course the whole thing happen all over again. new person, new issue, but still arguing, yelling and stuff. it's like a never ending circle.

but i don't want another man. i just want him. my other half. people say we both can never work it. too much a difference in belief, culture, moral and etc. personally, i don't really care what people say to me. all i know is that I LOVE HIM. all i know is that i am happy when i'm with him. all i know is that he makes me laugh. all i know is that i can't let him go. all i know is that he the only one who understands me. all i know is that he is the only one who loves me for me. he is the first who look me in the eyes and tell me i am beautiful even though i don't have much confidence in myself. i have been told that i'm fat, ugly and etc by many people especially men, i have such a low self esteem. but he always tells me how beautiful i am and little by little it helps boost my self esteem. all i know is, right now, he is the only one for me. we both don't know what the future will hold for us both. we don't know how far can this relationship goes. we don't know. but we both have plans for our future and the only thing we can do is hold on and hope for the best.

that is why, no matter what fights that we will have, i don't want it to end just like that because of something so stupid. i do want us to be together for a very long time. i do believe if we both put our heads, hearts and work together, we both can be together. yes, that means we will have more arguments, more yelling, more long faces but there is no place i'd rather be except only by his side. =)

this remind me a chorus from one of Luther Vandross song called "I'd Rather"

"I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else

I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself

I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart."

thank you for being here with me. always. =)