being naive and stupid

i wonder what everyone is thinking when reading my blog these couple of days? you guys must be thinking i'm just being naive and stupid. or over reacting and stuff like that. i honestly think that i am probably.....okay.... naive and stupid, but i am anything but over reacting.

i think what i hate most right now is when everybody keep saying to me, "everybody went through the same thing like you did too" or "i know how you feel" or "it happens to me too" or "you and him never gonna work out anyway". i absolutely and wholeheartedly hate it.

firstly,i absolutely agree that breaking up or relationship problems are normal in any relationship but not ALL have the same problems for reason behind. and i hate it when people say they know what i've been through but in real you don't. let's face it, mine is much more worse than yours and i have much more at stake to lose or greater risks in my relationship. so, truth to be told, you have no idea what i've been through or what my feelings are. secondly, even though it's true like any other relationships, we have ALMOST the same problems like other couples. but that ALMOST same problems have never been an issue in my relationship, so don't you come and telling me that it happens to you too.

i think the thing i hate most is when some people keep telling me and him that our relationship won't last at all. I HATE IT WITH A PASSION. from my point of view, you have no right to say it to either me or him. even though i understand that everyone meant well, but i honestly believe it is one of the reasons why long distance relationship never works. there is always somebody poking behind us telling us, influence us or persuading us to break up cause it's never gonna work. i know what everyone's thinking. if your love and bond is strong, then it shouldn't be a problem isn't it? wrong. we live in a society with a lot of people surrounding us. we can't live on our own. even if we try to avoid that topic, sooner or later, someone bound to touch that topic. no matter how strong your love is towards your partner, sometimes, with the pressure from other people, even you, yourself would start to think it over if it's gonna work or not. other people will give you doubts and create fears about the "doom" relationship. why can't they just be happy at all? can't they just say," that's great. i am happy for you." are you satisfied dooming your son or friend's relationship? are you that heartless? i honestly believe that, if the relationship works, then it works. if it doesn't then it doesn't. like my sister said, "marriage is like a gamble." i believe that's how relationship too. for me, everyone should just leave us alone and just be happy for us. if we are happy, then just be happy for us. if there is a problem, then just sit down and listens. if we break up, then comfort and console us. if you wanna give advice to overcome the relationship problems, then be my guest go ahead. isn't that show how a great family and/or friend you are?

right now, i am struggling myself. i don't know what i am in my own relationship. is it still a relationship? i have no idea at all. it's like everything is hanging on a single thread. right now we both are doing some soul searching about our relationship. setting our priorities straight and see if there is a possible future for us. but to tell you the truth i already made my decision long time ago. i guess it's up to him right now and think thoroughly what he wants in his life. if he decided to leave, then i have no choice to say goodbye to him. it would be painful and it will hurts so much, but that's what he wants. if it does happen, i will look away and never turn back ever again. i will move on forward and go on with my life. it won't be simple and easy. but that's the only choice that i have.

to me, love is beautiful like roses. but like any roses they have thorns. to acquire such a beautiful rose, you have to withstand all the thorns. if you are not careful it can hurt you a lot. to have a one true love, you have to  be ready to face all the challenges and problems. if you are not, then you will face the consequences.

as for my problem, i hope it would be resolve soon. until then, all i have to do is wait patiently. until then, i just have to sooth my heart and put it together again. it won't be whole like before but it won't be in pieces either. i think that is a start.