growing up

sorry for not posting any new blog recently. i was really busy sorting real life stuff. but i promise i'll try to keep posting as much as i can.

you know all my life, i always live under my brother and sister shadow. i am nothing like them. my brother is a pure genius. he doesn't need to study to ace his exams and my sister she's very smart and hardworking, kinda like how my dad is. as for me, i'm neither smart or genius or hardworking like them. so i always feel like i am the black sheep of the family. i know my parents didn't say it but i can feel that there is a disappointment there.

i guess that is why i always stick around my parents so much probably waiting for a recognition or something. also i guess i was scared to make it on my own because i always feel like i am not gonna make it in the real world. probably because i have a very low self esteem (thanks to my mum), and i don't feel like i am smart enough to work.

but i am 26 years old now. compare to my friends, they already have a career and family. me? nada. that is why i think, it is time for me to make it on my own now. like my other half said, "it's time for you to grow up, loves." i have to admit, it's kinda hurt but as much as i hate it, it's the truth and i can't hate him for that. as a matter of fact, i think i love him more because even though, he knows i always acted so childish, he still stick with me and support me all the way and i really appreciate it.

so in a couple of weeks or so, i would be really busy sorting out my life and try to do everything on my own now without depending on my parent. it would be hard for me and to tell you the truth, i am sacred to death. but this is something i got to do. and i know it will pay off in the end.

p/s:to my other half, thank you for being here for me, always. (^_^)x