i am currently in my friend's house at the moment. honestly i am totally happy that i finally got to see my besties (pah,fyda,im, eija and zue). i haven't seen them in ages. except for eija which i already met her last week on Sunday. i still miss her though. neway, like i said, i am absolutely happy that i am here among my friends.
but, am i really happy? maybe for a couple of hours when i am among them. we chatted and we talked and we laughed but in the end i will go home and i'll be all alone again. and the cycle of depression and stress and suicidal starts all over again. so.....i guess.... i am not really, truly happy am i? its only a convinienve.
even though i tried to occupied myself earlier by cleaning my room, reading books and listening to catchy musics, nothing seems to work. i still think about it. why oh why...... it wont leave me alone? people say its because i am too deeply attached to it or im still unwilling to let it go. is that it? i honestly don't know.
but since i am here among my besties, i might as well enjoy myself. since i know being around them do take my mind of the subject, so i should just go and have fun with them. besides, it's my bestfriend engagement this Sunday and i am so looking forward to that one.
p/s: Congratulations on your engagement Fyda & Taha.
Love you guys!
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