Another day, I finally made it without hurting my head. Crying so much do that to you sometimes.

True though that I cry a lot. I'm a very emotional person. Overly sensitive and I take things hard. It makes it difficult for my partner (whoever that is or if I ever have one) to be with someone like me. Who is almost ruled by her emotions. Yes, all women are sensitive and emotional but I think I took it to another level. It's not like I want to, it's just who I am. A crybaby? Maybe. But to be honest, I hate that word. Crybaby. It makes me sound like a spoil brat or worst, drama queen.

People say that crying is a sign of weakness. Does that mean crying over something you regret or remorse or the feeling of lost, loneliness, anger, and sadness mean that you are weak? I disagree on that matter. Crying is normal to every human being. It's part of nature. It's part of us, being human. Having emotions and being able to express it on a different level makes us a better species than anything that walks, crawls or swims on this earth. That what makes us special. That what sets us apart from animals.

I'm not saying that we all should cry. All I'm saying that it's okay to cry and it's normal. Showing emotions is nothing to be ashamed of. The idea of thinking that crying is a sign of weakness, never ever popped into my mind. Because I believe everyone has their own limits on how much they can take certain things. And by crying, they let out their frustrations and washes away all their negative aura.

Just like a saying goes,'Sometime people cry not because they are weak. They cry because they have been strong for a long time'. Not many people can cry especially in front of others. It takes a very confident person to cry in front of someone. Because that mean you just let your defenses down and show how vulnerable you are.

So, it takes a great deal of courage to cry. I never regret showing my vulnerable side to anyone. Because this is me. I cry because I'm happy. I cry because I'm sad. I cry because I feel empty and I cry because I feel lonely.

Today I cry because I felt lost. I cry because I felt that I have failed. Lost because I don't know where to go from here. Failed because the relationship is over. I'm partly to blame. I know that. I know that....

It hurts.... Knowing you also responsible for the demise of your relationship that means everything to you. It hurts.... when you desperately clinging on your partner like there's no tomorrow so he will stay with you no matter what but it is still not enough. It hurts..... in every single bone of my body. It hurts.... in every inch of my soul. It hurts.... on what's left of my shattered aching heart. It hurts.....

Even though this is our 3rd breakup, it doesn't mean it hurts any less. It only means that you know you can survive it since you already been through it twice. I know I can. I just need time. Time which I hope everyone can give me. It's not easy. He was someone I hold very dear to me. No matter what, he will always has a special place in my heart, or what's left of it. Someone I loved very much. Someone who I can't forget easily. Someone I can't let go readily.

Don't you sometimes wish that you don't love someone so much?