translations of women's language

most guy would say," I don't understand women at all!" which is understandable because we are very cryptic on what we are trying to say. unlike men, most women don't really say how they feel but they did give a few signs for you though. so it is up to men to interpret these signs and then you can understand what we are REALLY trying to say to you. so i'm here to help you men out there to translate of what we say and what we actually really mean. so, PAY ATTENTION!

1. when we say YES, it means NO
2. when we say NO, it means YES
3. when we say MAYBE, it means NO
4. when we say I'M SORRY, it means YOU'LL BE SORRY
5. when we say WE NEED, it means I WANT
6. when we say IT'S YOUR DECISION, it means THE CORRECT DECISION SHOULD BE OBVIOUS BY NOW
7. when we say DO WHAT YOU WANT, it means YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS LATER
8. when we say WE NEED TO TALK, it means I NEED TO COMPLAIN
9. when we say GO AHEAD, it means I DON'T WANT YOU TO
10. when we say I'M NOT UPSET, it means OF COURSE I'M UPSET, YOU INSENSITIVE IDIOT!
11. when we say YOU'RE SO MANLY, it means YOU NEED A SHAVE AND YOU SWEAT A LOT
12. when we say THIS KITCHEN IS SO INCONVENIENT, it means I WANT A NEW HOUSE
13. when we say I WANT NEW CURTAINS, it means AND CARPETING AND FURNITURE AND WALLPAPER
14. when we say I HEARD A NOISE, it means I NOTICED YOU WERE ALMOST ASLEEP
15. when we say DO YOU LOVE ME?, it means I'M GOING TO ASK FOR SOMETHING EXPENSIVE
16. when we say HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?, it means I DID SOMETHING TODAY AND YOU'RE REALLY NOT GOING TO LIKE

p/s: remember, this language does not apply to all women. some women can be very frank. but most women still use all this including me, sometimes. ~blushes~