Well, it's finally Friday. The weekend is finally here. And you thought I would be happy bout it. No, not really. Knowing that my relationship might be nearing to its doom, it tends to ruin my weekend.
I have to admit, whenever me and my boyfriend fight, it tends to drag for a while. Half would be my fault because for me I easily forgive, but I don't forget. Especially when your boyfriend called you a 'racist', that kinda stick to your head for quite a while. Since I don't forget easily, it is hard to move on from the situation. And he's not making it any better. Being silent all the time and hoping I would clear up the air EVERYTIME, it is not helping either.
Some of you might say and/or think why would I be with someone if I only complain about the relationship all the time? That's because I know who he is. He's a very great guy. But sometimes he can really piss me off, bad enough that I wanna kill someone or kill myself (i don't know, i don't geddit either). Bad enough that I really wanna scream on top of my lungs and cry myself to sleep. Funnily, I've done both.
Truth to be told, I have no idea what to do right now. I'm totally, completely lost. I'm even beginning to think that it might be a good idea to end this relationship because it seems like it's not working anymore. Even though I really don't want to, right now in my position, it seems like its a good idea to do so. But I know better to not make decision when I'm in this mess. I know I should only make decision when my mind is clear, calm and sane. Even though I had my doubts in this relationship, it is still nice to see if we really end up together. I would love to see that. That is why I don't want to make any stupid and reckless decision that in the end I would probably regret later. I don't want that.
Still, that would mean I would have to go and calm myself and clear my head all this weekend. Thinking and weighing my options, whether to stay or to leave and I have to do all this on this weekend.
This is definitely gonna be a Sucky Weekend.
u dont hav to decide rite away.. why dont u concentrate on ur career.. put aside ur love life for a while.. from what i read i'm sure u r quite successful young girl.. u must hav a lot going on wif ur life rite now.. hav fun wif it.. u sure will feel better.. love life is only 1 part of ur life.. so dont put all ur affort on that... build ur career from this early age.. u sure dont wanna be late 20s n still dont have anything dont u..
ReplyDeletelol. i am on my late 20s and dont have anything. so i'm pretty much there already. but u r rite on one thing. love isnt everything. it is part of life. so i shud take it easy and live my life to its fullest. if the relationship works, it works. if it doesn't, i guess it wasnt meant to be. =)
ReplyDelete