yes, im finally back after 15 months of absence. i know it's a very long time but i had my reason/s. there is so many things had happen that i don't even know where to start. for starters, i went back to Melbourne to work there and gain experience(which i did. Awesomeness!), got back together with my ex which is now my boyfriend ( yes, i was surprised too that he wants to start over. who knows. maybe this time it would be different.), lost almost 15lbs give or take and gain about 5 lbs back after i got home.
So, here i am, back at my parents home, recovering from eating disorder which gave me a severe gastritis. so basically i am dependent on pills all the time. eat regular meals every day or i will get a gastric. just perfect. i think that's pretty much everything that's happening for the past 15 months. to be honest, it's kinda very interesting year. who would have thought i would get back together with my ex, rite? i was shocked myself. even more shocking is me, having an eating disorder. me. the girl who likes to eat. that just come out from nowhere. i do blame myself for that because i haven't really taking care of myself when i was in Melbourne and the rest i blamed the people, media and society. seriously, i'm not gonna take full responsible for it. hahahaha.....
The eating disorder was kind of bad actually. i can't eat at all. everything that i ate, i will vomit them in an hr or so later. even as small like an apple. i just cant. i can only drink plain water and some sports drink( by my friend's advice to boost my energy). sometimes i vomited like 4/5 times a day and when there's nothing else to vomit, only water and blood came out. it has been going on for like 2/3 months give or take and at that time i didn't even realized that i had lost so much weight until my friends told me, when they came over to take me to the hospital for medical check up to see what's going on with me. seriously, without my friend's Dee and Paw, i wouldn't be here today because they actually dragged me to hospital because i didn't want to. so thank you Dee! Thank you Paw!
So fast forward, according to the doctors back in Melbourne, there is nothing wrong with me. but they suggest i do endoscopy to see what's going on inside me. So i did that when i got home and thank God, nothing serious only gastritis. i only need to eat regularly and take pills all the time. if i didn't take my pills or eat regularly, it might turn to ulcer which can be nasty and i wanna avoid that. so here i am, still recovering but im around 90 percent recovered.
To be honest, i still have a long way too go. but i think it's good enough for now. i am in much better condition compare to before which looks like the wind can just blow me away. that's how bad it was. i hope to never have eating disorder again, it was not fun. but according to the doctors, if you have eating disorder, if it happen once, it can happen again. so i really really really need to watch out for that. so keep praying for me people.
And thanks for reading. Ciao!
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