Loving You, Loving Me

People says long distance relationship hardly or never works. That is quite correct. People also says that interracial relationship/marriage could not work. This is right too. I've seen to many example to know that long distance relationship or interracial relationship/marriage did not work. These facts scares me a lot. You wanna know why? That's because i am in a long distance relationship (almost 4 yrs now, i know, i couldn't believe it either) and in an interracial relationship too. I know. Now, what are the odds that this relationship is gonnna work out? I'm scared to know the odds.

4 years ago, I used to believe that the distance and different race, religion and background are not important when you choose a partner. I believe that all those are irrelevant factors when you want to be with someone. I believe that you chose your partner because he/she is someone that you believe that you can rely on when you are in need, someone you believe that can love you in spite of all your flaws, someone who will stand by you without you need to tell them to do so, someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and most importantly, someone who would fall in love with you over and over and over again without getting tired of you (loyal partner is so hard to get nowadays). I mean, let's be honest, you want to love him/her for who he/she is isn't it? His/her personality? Not by their looks. So that's why i never believe that it will not work out if the relationship is a long distance or interracial.

If you ask me again now, after 4 years, whether i still believe in it, i would say, i'm not so sure anymore. I think after 4 years, i'm beginning to understand why long distance and/or interracial relationship/marriage never work out. It's so hard and different. You would have thought that you would notice it earlier, but no. After 4 years, I finally beginning to see how difficult it is to maintain such relationship. After 4 years, you beginning to wonder whether is the difference gonna be the end of us. After 4 years, you beginning to question whether is it worth it to wait for that person anymore? 

I know my mind would say something logical, but i know my heart would say something different. After you give your undivided love, attention and time to someone for such a long time and in a risky relationship that you know it might not work out, it's not easy to say it's over. I don't want it to be over without knowing that it could be different if we take out the distance out of the equation. I know it could work. If we can physically be together just like any other ordinary couples that you see on the street holding hands and hugging together in public, it might be different. No, not might. It will be different. I know it. At least, I'm hoping for it. Yes, i know i'm only hoping for it. Whether it will come true or not, it's totally out of my hands. What else can i do? 

Like my boyfriend always said, 'Hope is the only thing that keep me going.'